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well hello coaches welcome back coach KW here for another video got my Liverpool sweatshirt on as usual after a fantastic win in Paris tonight that's when those
video is being recorded today I'm going to talk about perhaps what for many coaches might be their least favorite subject and that is parent meetings in the preseason uh I think they're super
important for both coaches and parents and I've been on both ends of that receiving both giving and receiving those meetings and I've been in some ones that have gone well and some that
have not so well so what I'm hoping today to do is to give you some content that will make your parent meetings preseason go super well I'll give you a
little background I'm going to show you my actual slide deck that I use for U1 and then uh I'll also talk a little bit about what I do in season to keep the
communication up because that's the most important thing so let's first go through why I think it's important and some of the big topics and overviews and then we'll get into the actual
presentation and we'll just go through it so that you hopefully have a better idea of what you should be doing and maybe it gives you some ideas of some
things that I didn't do that might be important in your environment so let's take a look at that right now okay so then when we talk about parent meetings
right let's just talk about the four big things right when are we going to do it where and how are we going to do it why are we doing it and what do we put in it
when we go talking to our parents so first when should you do it so for me if I'm taking on a new team team my parents I don't really know very well then
really what I want to do is I really would like to do this before the first practice to kind of set them at ease if I'm going to do this remotely or
virtually which we'll talk about in a minute uh if I'm doing it in person it's hard to unless I have a assistant it's hard to do it at the practice or at the
first practice so ideally I'd love to do this beforehand which tends to lend it to more in the virtual but you can also do it in person if it's an existing team
I still think it's valuable to do to have a check-in especially if you have some new parents on your team it's great to have sort of a check-in with
everybody how they're doing you're now you know I'm going to say you're relatively friendly if you're a volunteer coach like me probably your kid is on the team and so your kid knows
the other kids by this point and you know the parents by this point but it's still good to set that boundary to say hey I'm the coach I'm talking to you as
parents as the coach anything new anything I need to know here things that we're going to do this year etc etc so and also I feel like it's really good to
do it at the start of every season so for me for my town we have a fall season and a spring season and if I hadn't seen
my parents in three or four months over that winter break I would probably then do another mini meeting at the beginning of the spring are we in new division are
we have new practice times all those things just to get that out of the way now I see most of my kids all summer long I'm sorry I see most of my kids all
winter long with footall and such so perhaps not as important because I literally see them every week with just a few weeks in between here and there
but if you're a coach we got two or three months in between maybe we got some new parents or things have changed probably a great idea to do it at the
start of every season maybe not a full-blown one but some sort of check-in with them before you get going so where and how are you going to do this well
you know we really have two choices nowadays we've got the whole inperson thing we have the virtual and there are pluses and minuses to both of them so
when you're in person they get to see you as a person you get to read the cues they can see facial expressions uh if you have a bit of a
sense of humor your jokes are probably going to land a little bit better in person than they will across a a computer screen but the point is is that
if you can have them in person you have those benefits of just human the human interaction and it's a little bit easier in some regards you may have some things
you want them to see which then at that point you're probably doing handouts unless you know you're lucky enough to have some sort of team room or something
where you can has a presentation going but most of us if we're doing this in person it's on the sideline while they're at practice right virtual has
some advantages as well and one of them is that it's way easier for people to make it for attendance right not everybody has to drag themselves to a
field sometimes parents carpol their kids to practices so they're not always there at least with a virtual one you've got a better chance at least of taking
30 minutes out of uh an evening to get everybody on a call and talk to everyone in addition as I talked before for if you have any sort of visual aids you
want to do a little presentation to give them some information in hard form instead of handing out papers where now they're looking down at the paper instead are looking at you you can
obviously share a screen and present it on there but you've got those two options and either one is a great way to kick your season off so why do you want
to do this well really this is the beginning of your relationship with those parents with any luck you're going to be with those kids for a long time
minimum probably a year you want to kick off that relationship on the right foot and make sure you establish that connection you want to define those expectations and more importantly those
boundaries I'm the coach when I'm over here I'm not just one of the parents you're the parents when you're over there you're not one of the coaches it's
a really good way to make sure that folks know their roles and if you are doing things with a team that um you know maybe they're coming from a
different environment maybe they're coming from a different coach setting those expectations and get the Buy in with your parents to say hey this is how I do things this is why I do things and
in the end I'm going to expect that we're going to get these out of the kids I hope you're along for the ride getting that buy in just means they're going to
be there in your corner versus fighting you from the other sideline and last the what we're going to look at my presentation so that we'll get into a
lot of details but based on what you're comfortable sharing share about a little bit about you what's where did you come from have you coached before you know
you have family how many kids do you have anything that you can think of that you can make a connection with those parents so they treat you as another
human and not just this guy or girl man or woman on the other side of the field who's the coach you're just another person you're a parent you're an uncle
you're an aunt whatever those things are right to try and make a connection but again what you're comfortable with you want to talk about your coaching background if you have one and if you
don't be honest about that too again you want them to be on your side so if you go in saying to them hey I'm kind of brand new to this I'm trying to
figure it out I'm doing the best I can I'm going to make mistakes automatically you've given them sort of that hey we're all in this together we're going to
figure it out as we go along you want to talk about logistics obviously practice days game days things like that what you need to bring all those sorts of things
you get that into the meeting you talk about any rules and requirements in your league uh that you may have that you need your parents to understand and
including you know don't talk to the referees those sort of things you want to make sure that's all clear again you're reading those parents if you find
out you're taking on a team and you found that this team these parents are pretty rough on the sidelines during games this is your time to really set
the law down and say hey I'm not going to put up with any of that because you shouldn't have to and they need to behave frankly or you know
they're going to end up in the car park sitting in the car while the games and practice is going on so expectations boundaries as we talked about I like to
say my job's the coach the kids' jobs are the players and your jobs are the cheerleaders and that's what we want those three separate things so you cheer
the kids play and I coach you don't coach from the parents side and we'll talk about that in a second roles those are some of the roles between there but
also if you have assistants and you have other thing other people around this is a place where you tie them in as well to say hey these people are going to be
part of the team maybe you have a team manager maybe you have assistant coaches what do they do for the team talk about all that and then if there are any
resources you want to share with them to help them in this maybe it's the rule book maybe it's something that you've put together about how you coach and
what you're going to coach in the next year uh maybe it's your league or your town program anything like that if you have resources to share that's where
that is so let's go look at my actual parent presentation that I give uh my last current one when I was doing utan a couple years ago and then I just updated
take a look at that so you can see what I used and um you know you might be able to steal some ideas from it uh once you see it so
let's go look at that now all right so let's get into the parent presentation I've kind of watered this down kind of neutered it to make it neutral for any
place I'm going to make copies of it and put links in the descriptions where you could download versions of it if you want a jumping off point from it all
right so I like to include a meet the coach section here so I've kind of obscured my kids pictures here but you know give my name if I've been on the
board if I'm in coaching so you can see a bunch of that stuff my kids uh if my kids played or whatever else again you're trying to make a connection
with the parents and say hey I'm like you if if you're a parent if you're not a parent then there might be some other stuff that you want to put in here some
of your other accomplishments whatever else but again you're trying to get them to get to know you if they've never met before I'll put my soccer coaching
background up talk about if I've played you know I also referee where I've coached and again be super honest if it's new then tell them that that you're
and tell them what you're doing to try to get better and try to get them to understand that hey we're going to figure this out together I mean maybe
you're coaching you know U7 you wait it's does you don't need a giant resume to do that you need enthusiasm and a willingness to help the kids that goes a
long way so be honest with what you got here you know if there's stuff in your work or your education background that you think is you know important for
parents to know that help you do a good job teaching by all means put it in there this one here think is super important I think you want to
communicate to your parents what your goals are with their kids right so your coaching philosophy what are we looking to do and I'm hoping that a lot of this
on here is universal for all of you especially if you're coaching in uh Town type soccer 7 V7 9v9 even 11 V1 um you know even if you're doing Club it's
long-term success before instant gratification we're looking to build better players we not building a better team with the types of teams we're talking about really what I like to say
is you know we I don't coach I don't coach to win I coach to learn winning soccer and one is a offshoot of the other one so talk about what I'm trying
to do what I'm want my kids to do and I'm hoping that a lot of this resonates with all of you because this is really what you should be thinking when you're
coaching your kids in this environment I think it's really important now to really be firm and upfront with what you want your parent responsibilities are number one is that they need to be
cheering effort not the results because again we're looking to get better as players we're not looking to win every game that's a big difference in how one
coaches and I'm really really strict about this and I feel like you can be too about the no coaching when I hear it the first time whether at a practice or
otherwise I am extremely vocal and direct with that parent I don't care if I'm on the other sideline I call them out straight out I make an example of
them because if you don't start right off the bat it just creeps in it just confuses the hell out of kids it's again it's the most destructive process that
can happen with a team is having a bunch of assistant coaches on the other side trying to tell their kids something different than you just told them you
have to do it it may be uncomfortable once but I can tell you uh with my current team I had a parent with a kid it was our first practices literally was
an August and preseason we were doing a little 4v4 he was like 40 yards away and his kid did something and he yelled over to his kid and I just turned and
bellowed at him sir I coach you watch and cheer if you can't handle that we can have a conversation or you can go to the car and the rest of the parents were
just like oh my goodness and two weeks later they came up to me and said thank you because they had already heard him muttering and literally we're only a
week and a half into preseason with barely third graders so be firm be direct simple as that I know some coaches that will pull the kid to the
bench and then have them walk around the field to their parent on the sideline and go if you don't stop coach isn't putting me back in and then walk all the
way back they get the message one way or another we also talk about zero tolerance policies my state in Massachusetts we have a whole bunch we got the new referee regulations that are
out there they're going to be super harsh about dissent and everything else again you're responsible for your parents so you need to be super on top of this and make sure there's zero
tolerance for any of this Behavior um it's just it's just what we have to be like now whether you like it or not I then try and talk to about what to
expect my coaching style what I expect from the kids what I expect from them but really kind of setting the stage of like look this is what you should expect
if I'm going to be with your team for this year or these next two years or whatever it is this is what I'm looking to do in that chunk of time it's going
to look like this it's going to go forward and backwards and forward again again Stakes a part of the process but again we're trying to get them to
understand that hey we're trying to get these kids to be better in all different ways here's what you should expect this is what you're going to see when I'm out
there and then I also what I ask what I ask from the kids what I ask from the parents what I ask of a family so that
again everybody's on the same page I think it's important to have this out there right away so everybody has no misunderstandings about what we're looking to do and what you're hoping
everybody will do in the purposes of pulling together all for the kids all of this is for the kids sake to give them the best environment we can possibly
give them so being direct with this is really important Al then if I have resources for them that I will look at I'll give them uh I'll give them links
to this and I'll send them a copy of the presentation afterwards so that like again if there are links in here they can just go click on it and see what it
I'm going to put a bunch of words up here on the screen I try to send an email to my parents every week summarizing after the f after a game summarizing the week
prior what I saw in the game and then what we're going to potentially do in the week coming because one of the most important Concepts I try to get to my
coaches is to say to them if you don't give parents something to cheer for they're going to make it up themselves and so you want them focused on the
things that you've been working on so that they can cheer for those things versus deciding that they know what's important and what you want them to do
and they you that's where you start the knot in the middle kick it up Johnny go get that ball don't back down go after it all the comments you hear from the
sidelines that just confuse the kids and get them out of the things that you've talked about so you can kind of scan through this but I tell the parents if
you're not interested just skip the email but I'm going to send it to you because I want to say to you hey you were told what working on here's the
expectations this is what's going on I hope that you see this I hope you cheer for it and then any other information you may have to give to them I'm not
going to go through this I just leave it up here for a little bit for you to see you can see here if you read through here I talk about what happened in the
week before what we what happened in the game what we talked to the kids about in the game and then what we're hoping to do in the next week or so in practice so
that everybody's on the same page of course I always leave room for questions because that's what we're here for we want the open dialogue with the parents
we want them to feel comfortable to come to you and ask questions so preseason meetings sometimes coaches feel super uncomfortable with them but I'm hoping that the content I gave you will give
you a leg up to give you some confidence to take some of these things and bring It Forward the one thing I didn't mention in there is uh a lot of places
they use what's called a 24-hour rule where you say to app parent like listen if you have something you want to talk to me an incident that's happened etc
etc as long as it wasn't a safety incident I'm not going to listen read or respond for at least 24 hours after the game or the practice is over because the
idea is we need to take the emotion out of it and usually 24 hours is enough to get the adrenaline down and people think a little bit clearly so I do talk about
the 24-hour rule as well uh really sometimes I have to stress it more than not with some group parent groups I'm lucky my parent group I have now not at
all but I hope that this gives you some info I'm going to put some links in the description so you can grab a copy of this template so you can change it I'll
have one in keynote I'll have one in PowerPoint I might even have one in a Google slide if you use that so hopefully one of those formats will work
for you other than that I want to thank everybody our subscribe count went over a thousand that's amazing and now it's really starting to tick up it almost
like you hit that threshold and then YouTube starts to spin your videos out into more and more places and it starts to be a snowball rolling downhill and I
hope that's where we're at so I hope that this is helpful if you have any questions or if you had any ideas that you might add in your parent
presentation get them down in the comment so that other people can see that other than that thanks for everything we'll see you real soon bye
