Transcript by Coach KW. Click a time to jump there.
0:01 Hey coaches, welcome back. Coach KW here.
0:03 Hope you're all well. I'm about halfway through my fall season at this time of recording, and we're into that long weekend break where we don't have any games.
0:12 And so I'll be going to a tournament with my kid, and I'll be watching from the sideline.
0:16 And this is a great place to observe the topic we're about to talk about here.
0:19 So, we're watching that game. We see a player try something hard, something new that clearly has been worked on, and it doesn't quite come off.
0:27 Maybe they lose possession. Maybe it's a shot on goal.
0:30 Maybe it ends up with a goal.
0:32 It's what the coach says in the next 10 seconds that's going to determine whether this kid tries that thing ever again or will forevermore really take the safer route and never grow as a player.
0:45 And that's what we're gonna talk about here today.
0:47 So, let's use our professional life wherever we work, and I hope your job space isn't about the way I'm about to describe it.
0:55 But imagine in whatever you do, every typo you did during a draft, every miss click of your mouse, whatever it might be, there's somebody standing over you, and every time
1:04 you do something wrong, then they had to point it out immediately.
1:08 Well, I think we can all think about coaches that we've seen or know that act exactly that way.
1:14 How would you feel as every time you tried something, even if you knew it was like, oh, I just hit the backspace key to fix it and go
1:20 on, somebody was in your corner going, hey, you did that wrong.
1:23 Try that again. that wasn't good enough.
1:26 That's what a lot of coaches think coaching is about.
1:30 And while. It seems like that would give you some results because, hey, I'm just showing them what they did wrong so they don't make that mistake again.
1:38 That pathway leads you down to the dark side, honestly, to make a metaphor.
1:43 Because it leads to kids not wanting to try.
1:46 They only want to do the safe thing.
1:48 They'll never try and do the thing, the new thing, the hard thing that you're teaching them, because they have learned very quickly, if I don't want to get yelled at, don't
1:57 do a thing that's going to bring attention to me because I can't do it.
2:01 So I'll only do the things I can do right now and I'm not going to drive the new stuff.
2:06 And so, as coaches, we need to really think about what we're about to say, every time we see an action happen with or without the ball, because the whole idea here
2:15 is we're looking to praise the attempt, not the outcome, and I know that sounds kind of wishy-washy, but the idea here is you want your players to try it again.
2:25 What it does is it sets up this virtuous cycle that's on this graphic.
2:30 Because when we're using this positive coaching mentality and our words and what we're doing, we're setting up this player to say, hey, coach is excited for me to try the thing, whether or not it
2:42 worked, the next time it comes up.
2:45 I feel like I can try this again without getting yelled at.
2:49 And it becomes this cycle where the more times they try it, eventually they begin to master it.
2:54 They succeed, you are now calling out the fact that they finally did it, and they feel like, hey, this coach has my back.
3:02 I'm willing to try something new because I'm not getting yelled at when it didn't work.
3:06 And now, this player is so much more willing to listen to you to try the hard thing when they themselves in their in their mind are going, I don't know about
3:15 this because I don't know if I can do this.
3:18 You're giving them the confidence to try.
3:20 Go the other way and shout at everything that doesn't go right.
3:24 They'll never try that again, because nobody likes to get yelled at, and that's what you're conditioning.
3:30 If you go the other way and yell the negative part of, why did you do that, you didn't do that right?
3:35 Do you think that kid's ever gonna try to do that again?
3:38 Not a chance in hell, man.
3:40 Not a chance. So, Don't hammer the mistake.
3:43 Praise that try because all you want them to do is try it again.
3:47 In coaching in other parts, uh, discipline and stuff like that.
3:50 There's this phrase that goes around 5 positives to every negative, and that seems like an overwhelming part, but it's based on actual science and studies about how people learn, especially
4:00 doing performance-based things, is giving them 5 pieces of feedback for every negative one, really creates that cycle that goes forward.
4:09 Now we've all heard sometimes that compliment sandwich where you say, hey, great job doing this, but, but then you follow up.
4:15 That's a start. But if players start to hear that all the time, they know the but's coming because they know that's the crux of the decision.
4:23 What we were looking to do again is we're looking to set up this cycle.
4:26 But when we give feedback, we also need to be specific because that's the part that they're going to need.
4:34 You're putting the coaching point in the specific part of the praise.
4:37 So yelling, good job when they try something is nice, but it's not as meaningful as great job getting your head up before that pass.
4:45 Maybe the past didn't come off.
4:47 But the thing that they did is the precursor, they did right.
4:50 You're telling them that. That means they feel like I've been recognized.
4:54 I did something right even if the thing didn't go.
4:57 We all say some of these things, nice job, well done, et cetera, et cetera.
5:01 And they're gonna come out because if you're a positive coach, and you're just trying to be good with your words.
5:07 But try to take it to the next layer, try to be more useful in that feedback.
5:12 So even if the thing they tried didn't quite come out, you're giving to them the thing they tried and the thing you, we, they worked on so that they know what it is that
5:22 you're saying to them. Good job.
5:25 Because that's just meaningless. That leads me to how you deliver the message.
5:29 Now that prototypical coach is the guy on the sideline with the veins bulging out of his neck, he screams at his players across the field.
5:37 Being loud is not being bad.
5:40 It's just how you're allowed and what you're saying when you're allowed that makes a big difference.
5:44 And. We've all had these different kinds of coaches, right?
5:48 We've got that loud shouty dad who's always just yelling everything at the kids.
5:53 They stop trying because they stop listening and they also just don't want to get yelled at, right?
5:57 Especially if what you're saying is always negative.
6:00 This is the opposite part, whereas the players, coaches who are incredibly quiet whenever something's going wrong, and they give them a cold shoulder, and frankly, that's just emotional abuse
6:10 and shouldn't be tolerated at all, but there are some coaches that think that's the motivation.
6:14 I'm just not going to give the player anything because I'm just so angry at them.
6:18 I can't talk to them. That is not going to get anything out of your players either.
6:23 Now, Your nature may not be to be loud, you might be quiet, but you can be quiet, but being pleasant but invisible is not a great combination either because, frankly, the players
6:35 may never know if you don't give any of your personality in any of your energy and in honestly enthusiasm for the thing you're doing, they're always kind of questioning like,
6:45 am I doing okay or not?
6:47 Because coach doesn't seem all that enthused in any way, shape or form.
6:50 So, While I'm not saying that good coaches have to be loud.
6:55 What I am saying is they have to bring that enthusiasm and find a way to transfer it from themselves to their players in a way that they recognize that coaches engaged
7:05 and excited about what they're doing.
7:07 And that's where being in the upper quadrant in one way, shape, or form, based on your personality can make a huge difference in how your players are perceiving
7:17 your feedback and your demeanor towards them and the things they're trying to do.
7:22 And the piece that we want to talk about, which we're going to look at a video clip or 2 here is, when we're doing that shouting, we're
7:28 shouting the standard, not the failure.
7:30 And I'll show you what that means.
7:31 I'm going to try and show you with this video clip from Liverpool, a training session, a little clip.
7:36 They're working on some sort of possession or attacking, uh, drill or maybe they're playing 5 by 5.
7:41 I want you to listen to the coaches.
7:43 There's an incredible amount of shouting going on, but what they say is what's the important part?
7:48 Let's take a look. That's all, compressed.
8:12 [coaches shouting, indistinct] I hope you can make that out, but what they were doing was not yelling at everything that was going wrong, but they were yelling the standard.
8:21 They were yelling what they wanted them to do and what the players were trying to do and encourage them to try and do more of that.
8:27 You want to yell the standard, not the failure line.
8:30 So, you're not looking to say you never pick your head up, but you're giving them the reminder of the thing you worked on so that that standard is the thing they hear,
8:39 not the thing they didn't do.
8:41 Whether they did it or not, they know.
8:43 But you just constantly reminding them the right thing to do in a non-judgmental way can go a long way of getting them to engage in the process.
8:54 That volume can be energy. You can transfer your energy to the players by the way you deliver the message across the field, whether it's in a practice session or not.
9:03 There's so many times when I'm in a practice session or even been in scrimmages and things like that and my players are kind of in a lackadaisical, not really motivated, maybe
9:14 not playing to the capability. I can raise their performance standard just by being that much louder about my energy towards them, giving them the speedback.
9:23 It just lifts them up. Some might say it's almost like giving them like a little bit kick in the pants, but nothing I'm saying is negative.
9:31 It's all positive or it's all the standards and the things I expect from them, and that seems to be just the thing they need to kind of snap
9:40 out of it and really go and engage.
9:43 You can really lift the level up.
9:45 Start some drill, maybe one that they're pretty decent at already.
9:49 Let them go for a little bit without saying anything, and then engage yourself in really being vocal and strong about all the things you're seeing, all the things you want to see.
9:58 Watch the level of the players.
10:00 I almost can guarantee that performance level is going to jump up multiples of percentage points, something that you and outsiders could see just by injecting that energy into the practice from your voice and your actions and your words.
10:13 I wanna show you a little clip from one of my training sessions.
10:16 It's not the most energetic one for me.
10:18 This is a little bit more chill, but it does represent.
10:21 You can hear that almost everything I'm saying to the players is in a positive manner.
10:26 I'm trying them to do something new because they have been stuck in a little bit of a run.
10:30 What you'll hear is, I have a microphone on me.
10:32 So, I'm pretty clear, even though the camera is a 1000000 miles away at the end line.
10:38 And sometimes you hear me shouting at the whole group.
10:40 Sometimes you hear me talking to a couple of players, and sometimes you hear me with a player right next to me, kind of semi whispering something to them that I want them to try or something that they want to keep going.
10:49 So, this is another example. It's not my most vocal.
10:53 There's certainly times like really far louder, far more energetic, but in this case, this is what was involved.
10:59 So take a listen. Drake, when there's 2 over there and you see it's 2v2, you've got to come over and make it 3v2.
11:05 They're not gonna reach you. You'll never get the ball, is what I'm saying.
11:09 If you stay here, you'll never get the ball.
11:11 You want the ball. Because now when you get the ball here, now you might find a Diego, you might find a Sammy, or you might even find a Zach coming in the middle here, okay?
11:20 Right, play. There you go. Now use the gap, Sammy.
11:30 Good. Yes, yes! Yep. I'm back here!
11:41 The ball? The ball? Faster, faster.
11:46 Faster. Yep, yep. Come, come, come.
11:50 Yeah, good, good, good. Just keep it there, right?
11:52 Play in the truck, is that triangle now?
11:54 Good will, good will. You didn't go with your will, but that's okay.
12:01 That's okay. Well, well, sometimes the defenders at this level, they're not smart enough to follow you, you still have to make the run, okay?
12:09 That's a good run to make.
12:12 So you can see there from that clip.
12:14 That, again, I'm speaking the standard, I'm speaking the thing I want them to try, and when they try it, whether or not it doesn't work.
12:23 I'm trying to give them the information on what it is that they can do the next time while not telling them what they just did wrong.
12:30 At least in most of the cases.
12:32 Sometimes where, you know, it's going to slip and that's okay.
12:35 But again, that 5 positive to a negative.
12:37 If I can get closer to the 5, then to the one, I think I'm doing okay for myself.
12:43 Lastly, as time goes on with players, You're going to talk to them differently and there are different messages you're going to give them.
12:50 So early on, You're going to spend more time telling them what to do in practices because they don't know how to do things.
12:57 Building up from the back is a perfect example.
12:59 In 7v7, you're literally going to start, pass by, pass, movement by movement because they have no concept.
13:06 So you're going to tell them a lot more in practice.
13:08 And then you're going to have those keywords that you can say during games to help them remind them to do that.
13:13 Find your shape, find the 1st pass, pick your head up.
13:17 All those sort of things that help them remind what it is they're doing.
13:20 As they get older, you can now start to ask the question of them, whether that's in practice or games.
13:26 Can you find the next pass?
13:27 What do you see, which is one of my favorite questions of all time for lots of reasons, which we'll talk about in a minute.
13:34 But you can now start to ask questions.
13:36 And again, in a way, not in a harsh questioning, like, what are you doing?
13:41 That's not a positive question, but giving them those cues and feedback through those questioning to let them remember.
13:47 Oh, yeah. What am I doing here?
13:51 I am looking for the next pass.
13:52 I am picking my head up.
13:53 I am looking for whatever it is that's happening on the field.
13:56 And then lastly, you get to the point where your players have enough experience and in the game and in life that you can now ask them to solve the problem.
14:04 And that's the power when you can do that in their later years as you're coaching older players because now the questions you're asking them are, hey, can you find a solution?
14:14 It's, what can you do about those 3 B 3 in the back?
14:17 What do you do against those 2 players?
14:19 Any of those things, you can ask them those questions and then they know how to solve them on their own and now they start to do the talking and the communication between players.
14:28 Because in the end, what we're building is decision makers, not robots.
14:32 So while we might start with some scripted, choreographed moves to teach them the basics, it very quickly evolves into them being able to make those decisions on their own based
14:43 on a number of parameters that you've given them, and then the inventiveness that your players have the freedom to try something new to solve the problems that come before them, because the game is incredibly
14:52 fluid, and that's what's required of any good player.
14:56 And I'll go back to that, my favorite question.
14:58 What do you see? It's such a powerful question because what you learn from that question is what your players are perceiving at that moment, because sometimes they just don't see the thing that's in front of
15:09 them until you point it out.
15:11 So by able to figure out what they're perceiving, you know now what it is, the imputs they're using to make the decisions.
15:18 And if they're not perceiving a really important concept, because it's just invisible to them, because they don't understand it yet, you being able to now point out those things, or it becomes part of
15:28 their perception, just adds to their database of things to look at when they're making the decision to do the thing that we're working on.
15:35 The last piece of this positive standards shouting the standards is play to play communication.
15:41 Ultimately, what you want is your voice to fade on game day on the sideline, and they have voice to go higher.
15:48 I've always said the higher the level the game, the more you hear from the field and less that you hear from the sideline, from both the coaches and the parents, frankly.
15:57 And that's where you want to get your team.
15:59 But it's important to help your players understand.
16:02 They're not critics. They should be coaches to each other.
16:05 So them shouting the standards to each other and the positives and the try again.
16:09 That's the ultimate goal that you want is your players to be able to coach each other.
16:14 Not to say, what are you doing?
16:16 That was a terrible pass, but to say to them, hey, I know you can do better.
16:19 Pick your head up next time, fix your, you know, put your plant foot down, whatever it is that, but having your players, be able to be a coach instead of a critic to each other, is
16:29 the golden formula for a team that works so well together and really brings the best out of your players.
16:35 I hope, if anything, you've learned from here, that those 10 seconds right after a kid has tried something and it didn't quite come off is probably the most vital time
16:44 in your coaching career with that kid, because you can literally make or break that kid's willingness to try the next thing with what you say next.
16:53 So keep that in mind. I'm not quite sure what's going on with the next video.
16:57 So hit that notification bell, so you're alerted when the next video comes up.
17:01 I hope you're all well out there.
17:03 Share, subscribe, like ever, the channel's been growing fantastically over the last few months.
17:09 I'm very humbled. Thank you so much.
17:12 Till next time, enjoy your time out in the field, or your time off like me this weekend.
17:17 We'll see you on the field real soon.